Monday Morning Quotes

Monday Morning Quotes
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Since 1998 I've been sending out these reflections first thing each week--one or more quotes plus my thoughts about the intersections and contradictions. They're archived here back to 2002, and a new one is posted every Monday morning. Dialogue is still welcome . . .

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Quote #905 - #Accountability #NotBlame

09 Dec, 2019

ACCOUNTABILITY - NOT BLAME



"Accountability breeds response-ability."
Stephen Covey

"On one side of accountability is courage, on the other is freedom ."
Jean Hamilton-Fford

"When we accept accountability we put ourselves in a position where we can make the necessary changes to be successful, whereas when we look to blame it disempowers us."
Gordon Tredgold


It's so simple, and so true.
We always gain from facing what we are responsible for,
holding ourselves accountable,
finding how we can do it better for the future,
and not retreating to the comfort and isolation
of blame.

But what if the necessary changes for success
are different for women than for men?
different for people of color?
different for people with disabilities and psychological challenges
or for people who are just
different
and don't "fit in" with the way things have always been done?
don't try to?
don't want to?

It is a profound and challenging balancing act,
what must be changed in oneself to work within any system--
work, play, family, friends, love of all kinds--
and what must be held onto and pushed against in others,
pushed against in the status quo.

But as complicated as it is,
there are a few things I am sure of:

- One on one, there is always something to be learned
about oneself, about others,
and the more we see it as black and white,
right or wrong,
a zero sum game,
the less likely we are to find that lesson.

- If we can't find empathy for what someone believes,
maybe we can find empathy for the feelings underneath
that are why they choose to believe that way,
and honoring those feelings may help us find a way through.

Oh, and one more thing:

- If we start with accepting our own responsibility,
it is easier to get someone else to accept their own.
Even if we think ours is teeny weeny
and theirs enormous and egregious,
it's often the most successful place to start.


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